Sarah G.
Although romantic comedies tell you otherwise, don't think that it takes a crush on your happiness. Whether you wear the label of "partner" or that of husband, not a day should go by without you strengthening your relationship. Yep, it takes more than good intentions to make a happy couple.
Cherishing yourself day after day is far from easy. You have your character, she has hers. You have your aspirations, she aspires to make her dreams come true. In this frenzied tango, the trick to being happy is to find the right tempo. How do you get there? Follow these few rules.
Table of contents
Learn to set limits
No, #selfcare #wellness #feelgood hashtags are not yet another Instagram trend. In this marathon that is the relationship of a couple, setting limits allows you to preserve your mental integrity and take care of your partner.
Imagine for a moment. After finding your soul mate on the best dating site, you only want one thing: to spend time with them. It's normal. Driven by pheromones and your romantic nature, you long for a Romeo and Juliet story that begins quite often online these days thanks to dating sites.
Only, in this frantic sprint, you skip several significant elements. First, being constantly available is a real love kill. People tend to cherish what is rare, which is slightly out of reach. By being too present, you remove this aura of mystery which gives you charm. And that's not all.
What if the person in front isn't as well-meaning as you might think? Falling on narcissistic perverts or completely psychotic women does not happen only to others. If your life revolves around your other half, you will be more inclined to tolerate the unacceptable.
Every now and then, take some time for yourself. A morning walk alone before the city wakes up. A passion that allows you to recharge your batteries. A moment of relaxation for which you have the exclusivity. Learning to set limits, to make yourself a priority is vital in order to be happy and to be able to fulfill your other half.
Have the audacity to express yourself
You can't imagine the number of people who wear a mask throughout their relationship. Busy trying to be perfect, they're more caught up in reaching unrealistic goals than building a happy marriage.
In addition, there is another way which proves to be formidable in the destruction of couples: presumption. You assume that she shares the same values as you. You think she aspires to the same division of family tasks. You assume she wants to start a household within five years.
For a couple, there is nothing worse than hearsay and half-words. If you have a lot of it on your heart, verbalize what you are feeling. In an anthology article, therapists delivered useful tips for communicating effectively as a couple. Through this text, they put their finger on several essential elements to experience an authentic happy ending.
Be careful though. Even if you are passionate about speaking out, that doesn't mean you have to monopolize the floor. Indeed, for effective communication, it is necessary to listen to your partner. Remember, there are two of you in this equation. Just as you appreciate that she listens to you when you speak, give her the opportunity to say what weighs on her conscience.
You don't have to be an active psychologist. It's as easy as not looking at your smartphone screen when she talks to you or shaking her head when she talks to you. Extremely effective, active listening is a way to strengthen emerging relationships.
Addressing the issue of finances
Obviously, you won't do this at the beginning. No one will reveal the extent of their heritage to a complete stranger. Likewise, if you broach this topic too early, there is a good chance that you will be stamped gigolo.
When you are still in the discovery phase, favor questions that are both light and mischievous. You can thus draw in one of the 210 best questions to ask your crush to break the ice in a relaxed way. When did you feel something for me? Who is your biggest pet peeve? If you could have a superpower, which one would it be? Take the time to know each other in all innocence.
See also: Top - 200 Best Questions You Prefer for Friends and Couples (Hardcore and Funny) & Top - 25 Best Dating Sites in 2021 (Free and Paid)
However, when the going gets tough, whether you are talking about children or marriages, it is essential to address the issue of finances. Sit down and talk about how much you each earn. How is this money distributed? What is your point of view on big projects (real estate purchase, vacations, world tour, etc.)? Talk about it before binding your destinies in a definitive way.
