🎵 2022-08-23 19:38:00 - Paris/France.
Lixesha loshicilelo lwakho lweveki lweDefector Funbag. Ngaba ikho into ekukhathazayo? Thumela i-imeyile kwi-Funbag. Kwaye Thenga incwadi kaDrew, Ngobusuku zacima izibane, ngelixa ulapho. Namhlanje sithetha ngokudanisa ama-apile, iishifti, iihot dogs, nokunye.
Rhoqo ngonyaka ndibhala Kutheni Iqela Lakho Lincanca, ndihlala ndinendawo epleyitini yam yokuphatha imisebenzi yeFunbag ngaxeshanye. Ngenxa yocwangciso olulambathayo ngokuphawulekayo kwicala lam, akunjalo ngeli xesha. Ngaloo ndlela, kufuneka ndinikezele ngemisebenzi yokusingatha i-Funbag kwiveki ezayo. Uya kuba nondwendwe olukhethekileyo kwaye ungathumela imibuzo yakho nge-imeyile ngendlela efanayo othumela ngayo kum. Ngoko musa ukuba neentloni. Konwabele undwendwe lwakho ngoku phambi kokuba ndibuye kwaye ndikhala ngokungapheziyo malunga nendlela andisakuthandi ngayo ukufunda iindaba.
Iileta zakho:
UJack:
Ngowuphi owona mculo umbi wokungena/wokungena awakhe wabanawo umdlali? Ndingathanda ukungenisa uWilmer Flores weGiants usebenzisa i Amis ingoma yomxholo. Njengomlandeli weGiants, kufuneka ndiyive kane ngobusuku. Uyandiphambanisa! Ngokusisiseko ndifuna ukukrazula iindlebe zam ngalo lonke ixesha esiza epleyitini.
Lukhetho oluhlekisayo, akunjalo? Ngalo lonke ixesha kungcono ukuba wenze impazamo kwicala le-comedy kunye nento efana nomculo wangasemva, abafana nam abasoloko bethambekele ekuthatheni INDLELA nzulu kakhulu ekuqaleni. Kodwa ukhwaza uJack ngokuqaphela ukukhetha kukaFlores ngalo lonke ixesha ebukele iiNgxilimbela zidlala. Ngokubhekiselele kum, imfihlo encinci emdaka yomculo we-baseball ongasemva kukuba akukho mntu uyivayo. Wonke umntu kwibala lemidlalo uxakekile echama okanye efumana ixesha elifanelekileyo lokuchama. Wonke umntu ekhaya uphulaphule umfana odlalayo esazisa umbetha. Kwaye ababethayo bafumana kuphela ikliphu ye-10-yesibini yengoma abayikhethileyo. Ukuba ndikhe ndaqaphela umculo ongasemva ngelixa ndibukele umdlalo we-baseball, andizange ndiwuqaphele kakhulu. Ndinezinye izinto ezininzi kakhulu, nokuba andenzi nto kwaphela.
Ngaphandle koko, ndiyayithanda Amis ingoma yomxholo. Ndikhumbula ndichwechwela kuyo xa umboniso wawudlala okokuqala kuba wawudlala iRembrandts, kwaye NDAYENENENE ndiyithanda ingoma yokuqala yeqela. Oku kwakubuya xa ndandidla ngokutshintshela kwi-VH1 ye-MTV (ngokuqhelekileyo ngenxa yokuba i-MTV, ngesizathu esithile, idlala i-Lou Gramm "Midnight Blue" ngexesha le-50), kwaye ngamanye amaxesha ndandiye ndifumane ukumangaliswa ukuxabisa into endiyifumeneyo. Ndithe ke ndakufumanisa ukuba ooRembrandts ngabo abasemva kwe Amis ingoma, ndathi, "Kulungile, kulungile." Ngaba ibuhlungu kum ukuthanda umboniso ngokwawo, iPeak Jennifer Aniston ngakumbi? Hayi kancinci. Emva kokuba umboniso uvuthelwe phezulu, i-VH1 yayiza kudlala ingoma yomxholo ngokupheleleyo, njengevidiyo eqhelekileyo yokujikeleza. Ndiyibukele le vidiyo, iyonke, ngaphezu kwesihlandlo esinye. Ngoko ukuba ndikhe ndabamba umdlali webaseball ewusebenzisa kumculo wakhe wokuhamba, andinakubambelela kuye. Nangona kunjalo, wamkelekile ngakumbi ukuyibamba le nyaniso ngokuchasene Moi.
Ngokuphathelele olona khetho lunobudenge bengoma olunokwenziwa ngumntu obethayo, ke, i-MLB sele iswele ukunqongophala kwabalandeli bomculo welizwe phakathi kwabadlali bayo. Kodwa andiyi kukuhoya oko kwaye ukhethe "iKrisimesi eMhlophe" endaweni yoko. Kuya kufuneka ube nguFlandrian wokwenene ukuba ube nemincili nge "Krisimesi eMhlophe" ngo-Agasti.
UJimmy:
Mingaphi imiqamelo ekhoyo eManhattan?
Makhe sibone oku kuso sonke isiXeko saseNew York. Ngokutsho kweLendingTree, iNYC inamakhaya aphantse abe zizigidi ezi-3,5. I-LendingTree ikwaphula eli nani ngokuthi mangaphi amagumbi okulala ngalinye kula makhaya abandakanya (kulo msebenzi, ndiza kubala istudiyo njengegumbi elinye lokulala). Oku kumele, ubuncinane, 7 amagumbi. Masithi ngalinye kula magumbi okulala linebhedi ephindwe kabini kwaye sithathe imiqamelo emine ngebhedi ephindwe kabini. Oko, bahlobo bam, yongeza ukuya kuma-117 imiqamelo. Bubumnandi obuninzi.
Kodwa andizange ndithathele ingqalelo iibhedi ze-trundle, iibhedi ze-bouncy, kunye neebhedi zeenja ... singasathethi inani elikhulu lemiqamelo yokuhombisa eyenza isiseko se-joke nganye ye-90. Kwaye andizange ndithathe ukubandakanya imithwalo kwizibhedlele, iihotele kunye iindawo zokuphumla ze-hookah. Khumbula xa iilounge ze-hookah zaziyinto enkulu? Mhlawumbi akunjalo, kodwa ngo-1999 ndandiye ndizulazule kwindawo yokuphumla ene-shitty hookah eMidtown, nditshaye icuba le-apile, kwaye ndizijonge njengelona mpundu libalaseleyo kwewakha waphila. Ixesha elimangalisayo lokuphila, kodwa ndiyaphuma. Masizilahle uhlalutyo olufanelekileyo kunye noJack abaqikelele ukuya kwi-50 yezigidi. Le yimpendulo yam. Awuziva ufundile na ngoku?
UAndrew:
Ndikwiminyaka yam engamashumi amathathu. Akukho bantwana, ikati, umfazi. Ngaba unokundichazela ukuba kutheni abazali abaninzi abatsha bethenga inja ngokukhawuleza? Ndivakalelwa kukuba into yokugqibela endinokuyifuna ngosana olusandul’ ukuzalwa sesinye isilwanyana esanyisayo esibiza imali eninzi, esisweleyo, esizaliswe bubundle endlwini yam.
Yiyo le nto ndilinde ukuba ndifumane inja de umntwana wethu omncinci aphelelwe ngamadiapers. Andizange ndifune enye into embi endinokuyicoca emva koko. Umzali ixesha elide ngokwaneleyo kwaye uyaqonda ukuba i-80% yobomi bakho ichithelwa ukucoca kunye / okanye ukuchola i-poop. Ngaba uyazi ukuba kukangaphi ndisifumana isisongelo seentlaka kwindawo yokomisa? NGALO LONKE IXESHA. Ithembeke njengelanga liphuma rhoqo kusasa.
Kodwa xa unomntwana (kwaye mnye kuphela), uqaphela ngokukhawuleza ukuba bahlala bodwa ekhaya kunye nabantu abadala ababini abaneenkampani zabo kuphela. Baye badikwe bullshit kamama notata ngokukhawuleza kakhulu, kwaye akukho mpilo ukuba umntwana uswele iintanga kunjalo. Ngoko isicombululo kukuba nomnye umntwana okanye ukuba nesilwanyana sasekhaya. Esi sesona sizathu kuphela endinokucinga ukuba ndisamkela inja entsha ebuhlantini xa usajongana nomntwana ongekafundi ukusebenzisa indlu yangasese. Ufumana inja, usana luqhwaba luvuyo xa inja isiza, emva koko inja iludle usana. Wonke umntu uyaphumelela.
Greg:
Kwipati yakutshanje, umhlobo womhlobo wam undixelele ukuba ucinga ukuba ndikwiminyaka yam yama-35. Andingo. Ndina 20 kuphela ndinobuso bomntwana. Andikwazi nokukhulisa iinwele zobuso okwangoku ngenxa yemvelaphi yam yemveli. Intloko epheleleyo yeenwele ezinqabileyo ezimdaka (ezingekho ngwevu). Nkqu notata lo ukwi XNUMXs, usabonakala ngathi ukwi XNUMXs. Ndiyazi ukuba ndizuze iiponti ezimbalwa kwaye ndahamba imayile ukusukela kwiminyaka yam engama-XNUMX, kodwa kunjalo: ingaba sonke sibadala kunokuba sicinga?
Ewe. Nam, ndandinobuso bomntwana ukuya kutsho kwiminyaka yam yama-20 kunye nasekuqaleni kwe-30s, ngoko ke ndiye ndafumana uchulumanco lokunikwa amakhadi kakuhle emva kokuba ndifikelele kwiminyaka esemthethweni yokusela. Akunakwenzeka ukuba ungabi nazintloni ukuvuya xa oku kusenzeka. “Bandicele ikhadi lam lesazisi!” BENGAZI UMWAHAHAHAHA.
Kodwa kuza inqaku - kwaye akukho lula ukulichaza - xa liyeka kwaye wonke umntu uyazi ukuba uphakathi. Akusekho mntu undigxekayo, ukanti ndihlala ndicinga ukuba ndifana nekherubhi eneminyaka eli-14 ubudala. Ndibona abanye abazali abalingana nam kwaye ndicinga, "Wow, bakhangeleka bebadala!" Andifani nam, sana! NDINENWELE ZONKE! »Kodwa ngokwenene ndikhangeleka ndimdala njengabo bonke aba bantu. Iitempile zam ezingwevu, izixhobo zokuva, kunye nolusu oluqhekekile emilenzeni yam yinto efileyo. Ukuba bendiye kwitheko le-frat ngoku, bekuya kubakho umkrwelo ovakalayo kwaye igumbi liya kuthi cwaka. Mntwana ngamnye wayendifunela intambo.
Andazi ukuba yenzeke nini. Ndiyakwazi ukucinga ukuba yayimalunga nama-35 okanye kunjalo, kodwa luqikelelo nje. Into endiyaziyo kukuba ndidlule kuhlobo oluthile lokufikisa okulibazisekayo apho iinwele zam zaqala ukuphuma ezimpumlweni zam zaza iingono zam zathoba i-intshi ezintathu ukuya ezantsi. Nam ndaqalisa porter nam njengomntu olingana nam, kwaye oko kwandingcatsha ngokuqinisekileyo njengenkangeleko yam. Ndenze umfanekiso katata. Bendibonakala ndilahlekile naxa ndizazi kakuhle apho ndikhoyo. Ndiqhube ikhumbi. Ndanxiba iAsics. Ngalo lonke ixesha ukutya kufika kwindawo yokutyela, ndandisithi, “Okwakho kukhangeleka kumnandi!” » komnye umntu etafileni. Ulutsha alwenzi nayiphi na kwezi. Kufika ixesha ebomini apho ungasakwazi ukuzifihla ukuba ungubani na. Ngaphandle kokuba unogqirha weplastiki kaTom Brady.
Iza kuba yi:
Sesiphi isenzo esixhaphakileyo njengomdlali osebaleni onokuthi usiphelise ukuba unako? Eyona nto imbi kakhulu kukuba ubambe iminwe emine emva kwekota yesithathu kwibhola ekhatywayo, akunjalo? Ewe, siyazi ukuba yikota yesine kwaye niza kuzama ngakumbi ngoku, nangona niyiLions kwaye ningu 3-9. Wonke umntu wenze oku ngonaphakade, kwaye bubudenge.
Xa ndidlala ibhola kwaye ikota yesithathu yaphela, oh kungcono ukholelwe ukuba ndiyiphakamise loo minwe emine. Ndiyenze njengeFAN nam. Ewe bubudenge, kodwa ngubani othi zonke izinto zobudenge zimbi? Intshukumo ye-4Q yindlela ephantsi kwaye kulula ukugxothwa kumdlalo wokugqibela, kwaye kubalulekile xa sele udlale iikota ezintathu kwaye udiniwe. Kude kube lelo xesha, uya kubambelela kuyo nayiphi na indlela yokwandisa oovimba bakho, kwaye ukuba oko kuthetha ukujoyina abo udlala nabo xa bephosa uphawu lwe-4Q, makube njalo. Ukuba oku kubonakala kububudenge kubabukeli, kulungile. Eyona nto ibalulekileyo kukuba esi senzo sobudenge sikwenza uzive njani ngalo mzuzu.
Cinga ngendlela okhangeleka usisidenge ngayo xa ubukele imidlalo. Ukhalela umabonakude umpompe inqindi utsibe ngathi yimpundu. Kodwa awukwenzi oku kuba usoyika ukubonakala ngathi usisidenge. Uyenza kuba kumnandi. Yinto enye ne-wideout ebonisa indawo yokuqala ezantsi emva kokubambisa, okanye umdlali wegalufa ocofa i-caddy yakhe emva kwe-putt eyimpumelelo, okanye umdlali we-NBA ochukumise bonke abadlali beqela lakhe emva kokuphosa simahla. Enkosi ngokufika kwe-Intanethi, wonke umntu uyazi ngakumbi inkangeleko yakhe kunanini na ngaphambili, kwaye ayisiyonto ilungileyo leyo. Ikwenza uthinteleke ngakumbi. Uyayibamba. Uyoyika ngakumbi ihlazo. Izenzo zakho ziphindaphindwa ngakumbi kunokuba zizenzekele. Uziva ngathi eyona nto imbi kakhulu enokwenzeka kukubonakala ngathi usisidenge. Kodwa ngamanye amaxesha kuvakala kumnandi ukubonakala ngathi sisidenge. Cela nabani na ukuba adanise kwitheko lomtshato. Ukuzazi kunemida yako.
Evan:
Ngaba ucinga ukuba ungakhohlisa ngokufa kwakho kwaye uqale kwenye indawo?
Hayi kuba ndiza ku-tweet ngayo. “LOL ndiyafa. Akukho mntu uya kulazi igama lam elitsha nguBill Schmettly.
UDavide:
Ebudeni bobomi bakho, ngaba ukhe watya ngakumbi izilayi zepizza okanye izinja ezishushu? Ewe, ndiphezulu ngoku, kodwa andiyiboni ukuba ifaneleka njani loo nto.
Ayinamsebenzi. LE NDAWO apho abantu abatshayayo banokubuza imibuzo ebebenokuthandabuza ukuyibuza logama nje besazi kakuhle. Uhamba kakuhle, Dave.
Kwakhona impendulo yam yipizza kwindawo yokudilika komhlaba. Nditya izilayi ezine zepizza ngexesha elinye, noko. Akunjalo nge-hot dogs. Ubuyazi andikhange nditye nehot dog ihlobo lonke? Akukho nanye. Ekubeni umfazi nabantwana bam bengasayityi kakhulu inyama ebomvu, loo nto ithetha ukuba andisayityi kakhulu inyama ebomvu. Andibasoli. Kungcono ukuba intliziyo yam kunye ne-rectum inqande nakuphi ukutya okunamathumbu. Itsho njalo, ndizakuxhela KILL inja eshushu ngoku. Andikhathali nokuba iphekwe njani. Yitshise, yitshise, wenze i-ceviche ngayo. Andikho nzima. Ngexesha elide leminyaka yam yeshumi elivisayo, ukutya endikuthandayo emhlabeni kwakuyinja yetshilisi. Kwaye uyazi ntoni? Isenokuba sisidlo sam endisithandayo. Umntu wajonga ihot dog wathi, "Uyayazi le soseji yenziwe ngemilebe neempundu ifuna ntoni?" Isosi eyenziwe ngemilebe EZINGAKUMBI neempundu,” kwaye babeLUNGILE. Inja yetshilisi yeyona mpumelelo inkulu ebantwini, kwaye andilindelanga ukuba igqitywe ngalo naliphi na ixesha kwakamsinya, ngaphandle mhlawumbi nge-squiggle yemostade.
IXESHA LECALA!
UJack:
Ndiyakhumbula ukuba uvumile ukuba awuyazi indlela yokuqhuba imoto nge-manual transmission. Xa ndandisiya kwisikolo samabanga aphakamileyo ekuqaleni kweminyaka yee-80, phantse wonke umntu wayesazi indlela yokuqhuba incwadi yemigaqo kuba iitoni zeemoto zazisazisebenzisa...
SOURCE: Uphonononga Iindaba
Ungalibazisi ukwabelana ngenqaku lethu kwiinethiwekhi zentlalo ukusinika ukomelela okuqinileyo. 🤟